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if you don't like something, change it.
if you can't change it, change your attitude.

guess how am i feeling right now.

i am having an outburst of anxiety. so excited that my heart feels claustrophobic in my rib cage. like it's gasping for oxygen and trying to get the hell out of my chest and SCREAM.

no, i am not going crazy.

i am jsut excited. i can't wait, because i have finally ended all my examination in school! and i am starting attachment on monday! and i have ended my final year project! and i can't wait for the end of attachment so that i can graduate! and i can't wait for my results to pop by my mailbox to tell me that i have passed all possible modules!

I SERIOUSLY CANNOT WAIT.

the excitement, the anxiety, the panicking, the fear, the happiness. it's all been stuffed into a pounder and pounded into a mince with a pestle and a mortar.

can i like, cry now? HAHAHA.

it's like one part of my life has finally ended, and that i am embarking on a brand new journey.

but for now, it's tomorrow that's exciting.

morning i shall be packing my books and notes and tables and bags and keeping everything clear of anything academically infused.

afternoon i shall be going down to cousin's office with janice to play some, family games. it's kind of an exposure, so i don't mind.

evening i shall be watching movie with eeeeeeeeeeeeeva! percy jackson~~

and in the night i will be in zouk bobbing my head away!

PARTY PARTY PARTYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Libellés : :), A FOR ALFRED AND ALCOHOL, ALFRED, explosions, we all love idiots

before i begin, i would like to say that i do not know who's megan.

in fact, i have no idea what's a glimpse of megan, and i know no megans as well. (unless you count megan fox)

but this photo just reminded me of how i felt like a few hours ago. yes, a few hours ago my entire household's worth of electronics were staging a riot against me like useless retro electronics.

when the television set gives out sounds of the waves at the beach when you are watching an arson scene, when the dvd player shows pixel-ated screens of no matter which movie you try to watch, when the computer gives you hell.

just when i finished all the respective chores and cooked my gorgeous dinner, i had to eat it in stone cold silence. i was one second away from going crazy and smashing the television set, burning my laptop and stamping on the dvd player.

and then the tv switches off on its own. ON ITS OWN.

no, i;m not telling a ghost story, i'm telling you that if you have excess money, PLEASE BUY ME A NEW TELEVISION.

one that doesn't play the sounds of the sea waves when you watch shows like meercat manor.
one that doesn't make women sound like man breaking his voice, again.
one that doesn't switch itself off when you turn it on.
one that gives you hell but doesn't come with that axe you've been wanting to use to hack the tv into smithereens.

i swear i can breathe fire right now.

Libellés : ALFRED, explosions

minds cafe dude says, "do these cards look the same?"

weisheng replies, "no."

i say, "nope."

AISYAH replies, "about."

no wait, allow me to rephrase that.

AISYAH exclaims, "I'M STUPID."

as you can see, today was a Saturday and i decided to go on a little escaping! hahaha, left early after the girls' lesson. and then went off to meet the crazy idiots. of whom, all were extremely late, despite constant reminders to me, telling me to be on time.

and so, it started off a little irritated, cause i'm always not happy when i have gastric.

and then we got down to Swensen's for the long-awaited ICE CREAM BUFFET! finally, finally able to go for my ice cream buffet since so long ago. so allow me to round up on a couple of stuff that we did.

we complained about a waiter, HAHA. okay fine, i complained about a waiter. and then the manager obviously thought of us as some pesky kids trying to fool around, which i was NOT. the waiter was supposedly the host for the queuing area, in which he had to be fairly polite and refreshing to the customers who are already kept on wait in line. HOWEVER, he was so darn rude and treated us like we were having some lucky draw. so there's a bad first impression of the restaurant already, isn't that poor waitering skills?!

shall not talk about it anymore. then we had a lot of ice cream, wasted a lot of cake and definitely played with the ice cream. talk about REGURGITATING everything, it will take ages. and having a sugar rush results in acting dumb, which explains all my videos of stupidity on facebook, credits to eugene lee zhao hui.


eugene's "ice cream", which i later had fun "blending" into a paste as though i worked at Sweet Talk.


Aisyah's baby food, filled will all that cereal stuff. AND SHE CAN STILL KEEP UP WITH THE COMPLAINING OF BEING FULL.


Weisheng's Princess Darling Dessert. HAHA! looks like cinderella.


and here's mine, the best and most delicious of all cause it's made by ME! lol.

and i stole Eugene's ez-link card by the way. HAAHAHHA! stupid can, drop on the floor and still didn't realized.


and.....we had an ugly doll before we eventually played ugly doll. HHAHAAH!


pffffftt. i look damn retarded. couldn't stop laughing from suggesting the idea that we take a photo with the Dole Pineapple Mascot. so hence, the red and retarded face plus the body that couldn't stand straight.

and and and we helped this old lady who was lost!

directed her to Isetan at Shaw. felt damn nice and accomplished after that. like as though i did something damn good. and i seriously don't mind spending my whole day walking around finding lost old people and helping them find their way. cause, it makes me feel a little bit more like a human. hehs.

moving on.

we went off to MINDS! after eugene decided to PANGSEH.

so we headed off to minds where i had chunks of meat missing off from my hands thanks to aisyah's finger nails. we did a hell lot of dumb stuff there, including playing UGLY DOLLS! damn stupid game.

and the two of them were so dumb that they kept losing and doing forfeits, whilst i just sat back and relaxed.

but nevertheless, i decided to be nice and at the final game that we were playing, i lost and did a dumb forfeit. hahaha. but yeah. was a very very relaxing day despite the tension in the morning and the tension in the week.

damn worth it to spend every saturday like this.

and we would cross paths at the bus stop, but no, you wouldn't even notice me.

the cyan shirt amidst the browns in the crowd, but your eyes only on someone who's long left you.

Libellés : :(, :), :/, ALFRED, explosions, freak accidents, pennies for my thoughts, photos, poly friends

and so, i woke up this noon to hear my bloody brother accusing me to my dad about me misplacing the tv remote on HIS OWN BLOODY BED, when i have been in bed all morning.

and i wasn't even home the whole of yesterday so when did i ever watched tv, or even bothered to misplace the remote.

"and excuse me,

my bed is obviously a BETTER SPOT

to misplace the remote if i was last using it."

and then my dad's phone rings. and he went around asking who's phone was it that was ringing. and my blooody hell smart ass brother decided to say it was my phone. and my dad came in to yell at me for not picking up "my phone" when i was smsing with my own phone.

i was pissed. i was annoyed. i didn't sleep the whole night, and i had to lie in bed under the glare of the sun and allow witness to my ears of such dim-witted events.

dialed a handful of numbers on my phone and none of them were free, nor did the rest picked up.

left my asylum of a house on the double before the mad people eventually influenced my insanity. and then i sat at my hiding spot on the thirtieth floor for two hours, staring out at the skies and feeling the wind breeze across my face.

had a hair cut after that and now i'm home for a short twenty minutes to blog and bathe before i get the hell out again.

Libellés : ALFRED, explosions, freak accidents, photos

okay, spent the past two days renovating my fish tanks, since it's been almost two years since i set up the tanks, so i decided to take out everything and have a big spring cleaning for them.


this is the bigger tank, in March 2008.


and here you are looking at the same tank, September 2009.


This is the smaller tank, March 2008 as well.


Here's the same tank, September 2009.

i realized that cleaning just one tank makes you feel as though you spring cleaned your own room. the walking to and fro between the toilet and the living room, the scrubbing of the glass walls and the sight of the shit water. classic.

and then the entire tiring process leaves you at an irritably irritated mood.

take going to burger king's for example,

i was waiting in the line behind this lady, like two to three steps away. after she makes payment, she moves backward to keep her purse back into her bag. then she bumps into me and mutters under her breath,

"stand so near for what."

excuse me, who asks you to eat so much fast food that you are too fat for even three steps' worth of space?

"move back so much for what,

ooops, it was only you leaning back slightly.

looks like SOMEBODY's butt got to cut some slacks."

then i guess it's TOO BAD if your ass is just naturally big. zzzz. yes, i'm in a bad mood.

anyways, it seems that aisyah and eugene are having some children's fight on my tagboard. interesting. let's see if they whip out any diaper war. hahaha.

and and, yesterday my tuition kid who is nine years old asks me why he can't call his brother a fuck face. i don't want to go into details, but all along i thought the only bad words he knew were cheebye and asshole, and it appears the brothers don't consider asshole a bad word since it's technically something on the body. so great, now he knows two profanities and one unsightly body organ. and yes, please don't let them find out the meaning of cheebye.

Libellés : :/, ALFRED, explosions, out of the blue gibberishh, pennies for my thoughts, photos, poly friends

HALL-LEEE-DAZE!

YOU'VE GOT IT, HERE COMES THE HOLIDAYS! finally, exams are over. finally i would have tons of time to sleep eat and laze all over the place. FINALLY i can go and get my tan back at the pool.

and CINDY MY DAUGHTER, my phone's itching for your call! im ready for KBOX ANYTIME ANYWHERE! i am going to start my final year project next semester, i am going to get myself a new job, i am going to focus on my tuition kids and i am going to do a hell lot of stuffs!

so tell me, how to not love this day?! there would be so much time to do so much stuff that i had always rathered to do than SCHOOOOOOOL! so schooooooooooo shooooooooooooooo!

and right now, im off to town for a night of crazy dinner and movies! PLEASE LET ME HAVE MY APPETITE TONIGHT! just tonight!

and then back home at midnigght for my regular emo-ing session with my all time favourite. :D

Libellés : :), ALFRED, BEST FRIENDS, explosions, OUTBREAK, pennies for my thoughts, photos, Princess Elizabeth, randomization

because beauty comes

at the price of imperfection.

is perfection really what everyone pursues? is it something that is so desirable, just like how beauty can be so obsessively sought after?

did i mentioned that i watched UP! ?

well i plan to watch it again. it's really very touching and something different for me to think about. cause, it talks about the one thing that i would hate to have in life. of being all alone when you are old and viviana is really pissing me off acting crazy here in macdonalds.

ANYWAYS, as i was saying.

wait, now she is singing to the national anthem. and she said i sucked. then i told her she fucked. hahah, okay no. just wanted to hurl some profanities cause im damn dead tired.

let's not side track, shall we?

wait, before i continue, i must mention that spending the night in macdonalds studying with a lunatic can make you really very patient.

so back to the topic, yes there was this scene when Fredicksen was about to be sent off to the old folk's home, forced to leave his one and only accompaniment left. sighs.

i am so afraid of being alone and so afraid of being forgotten and left behind. and im not even in my twenties and i already add woes to my life like an old man. but its true. its something that i would gladly avoid. then again, its only when you lose something, do you gain another, just like in the movie.

so damn grateful for the people around me everyday who brightens up my life little by little.

anyways i ABHOR thursday all of a sudden. cause i was planning to be sleeping later in the morning when i was done studying all night, but sadly i still have to move my ass down to the studio for styling.

no wonder i was feeling so vulgar. tsk.

Libellés : :(, ALFRED, BEST FRIENDS, explosions, freak accidents, out of the blue gibberishh, pennies for my thoughts, photos, school stuffs, Shine

mehhh. I HATE STUDYING!

damn. and i hate it most when the matters of the heart comes into focus. and it always always almost always happen just before exams. i suck.

anyways, jsut got home from passing some stuff to liping. can you please not be so ass next time.

i was so kind to help you print your stuffs and i still personally walked all the way up till your block just to pass to you. and when i asked if we could have met at somewhere around the soccer field, you still can tell me its too far for you. =.=

damn ass. somemore when i reached your house you still made me wait at the void deck just so that you can wear your contaccts and spray your perfume. HAHAHA! KNS! zzz.

okay im done slandering you on my blog.

mehh.

back to studying PROTEOMICS! if not tomorrow syahsyah will slap me.

Libellés : :), ALFRED, exams, explosions, pennies for my thoughts, photos

i can't wait for ahtiong.blogspot.com (((:

HAHAHAHAH!

anyways im also here to say,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLONDEEE!


just enjoy your day no matter what ok?

Libellés : :), ALFRED, BEST FRIENDS, BIRTHDAYS, BLONDIE, explosions, Princess Elizabeth

i nearly died yesterday!

okay, maybe not that serious. but had a close shave with being badly disfigured when the circuit box exploded! so scary right. HAHAHAHA. there was a short circuit fire and then when i wanted to check if the fire was getting worst, the circuit fuse exploded just as i entered the office. freaky. okay lah, but im just exaggerating cause its so dramatic.

and at level ten, they do not have a single fire extinguisher PLUS their fire alarms were not working. bloody dumb you know. i have never seen such poorly equipped fire emergency preventions in any building until yesterday.

oh oh and when i went down to the security counter, the security guards were freaking out like dumb old men not knowing what to do! plus they got their colleague to go up to put out the fire, without a fire extinguisher. =.= and i was like

"OH, IM SORRY,

IS HE GOING TO BE PUTTING OUT THE FIRE

BY BLOWING IT LIKE A CANDLE?"

zzzzz. that's like enough drama and blondness to last me for an entire life time.

had a long-lasting headache throughout the night cause of the carbon monoxide i think. and i had to go for a chalet as well. just got back but my head is still hurting, prolly cause of the lack of sleep as well. mehhh.


caught ORPHAN last night at 1.30am. was expecting some horror flick, but turned out it was a thriller and it was actually quite funny in a way.

i actually did a lot of dummb stuff during the movie too.

For example, when Esther tried seducing her foster father, i literally LOLed. and i mean it. HAHAHAHA!

And then when the Kate gave Esther such a hard kick that Esther's neck broke, i YAYed out loud and the theatre laughed. lmaos.

OH OH! and the part where Esther held a pen knife to her foster brother's penis and threatened to cut it off if he mentioned about what he saw! that was dumb. throughout the entire show i kept thinking it's like some sort of a thriller movie regarding some serial killer just that the characters were all downsized to little kids.

imagine two little girls committing murder, and other stuff like that. totally unethical and funny. i seriously think its funny.

but it is a really very disturbing show, at the same time quite funny. cause the horror parts are like so unexpectingly sadistic that you would not help but laugh really heartily. but i guess it's also because the movie's for sadistic people like me anyway.

still, it's not bad.

Libellés : :), ALFRED, BIRTHDAYS, explosions, freak accidents, not-so-good-news, photos, Shine

SWINE FLU BRINGS OUT THE SWINE IN YOU.

i think singaporeans can be really thick in the mind sometimes. it really really amazes me how stupid one can get.

i took a cab the other day to rush down to school and unfortunately, i flagged down an idiot of a driver. and so halfway through the journey, my nose got sensitive as usual and i sneezed.

so i sneezed, right into my ball of a fist, and then i sensed this glance of annoyance reflected in the rear view mirror of the cab.

"you should cover your mouth you know."

"erm, yeah i did?"

"your school have got swine flu cases right?"

"not sure, but i do know Republic and Nanyang does have."

"your school have, you should know that what shouldn't you?"

"well, i don't really take note of it."

and the moment i paid for my cab fare, this nice driver immediately turned down all his windows in the car before i even opened the door. seriously, you could have waiteed for me to AT LEAST alight?

now, the Swine flu is under code red because,

it spreads fast, especially due to the fact that not only humans, but pigs and birds and dogs are potential pathogens.

we do not have a cure YET, and it mutates easily due to the vast variety of pathogens available to the virus.

HOWEVER, it has the same mortality rate as a common flu.

PLUS, we do not have a death case in Singapore.

and last but not least, when we contract a viral disease,

YES, we can die if it is highly dangerous with high mortality rates.
NO, we will not die if it does not have a high mortality rate, even if it is a potential death threat. and that is ESPECIALLY true when we have a good immune system.

i don't see why you swines out there are panicking when YOU are healthy enough to act like an idiot in public. even if the news is making it a headline, talking about the rise of deaths every other day, when you think about it, if a common flu was made headlines, you would see the same content.

if you are so scared of dying, but still want to earn your freaking money, why don't you wear a BIOHAZARD HOOD instead of insulting people every other day?

so all i can say is,

stupid stupid stupid.

and FYI, Ngee Ann Polytechnic has only ONE H1N1 case. ishh.

Libellés : ALFRED, BABI FLU, explosions, freak accidents, out of the blue gibberishh, typical singaporeans, weirdos

damn the police force. damn the idiot who stole my phone anyway.

TSK!

i can't believe i was so blonde as to drop my phone and not check if i had it on me before i alighted off the bus today. i always always always checked if i had my handphone, ez-link card, wallet, and keys with me everytime i got off a bus. just so today i flustered and didn't. DAMN!

and now i hate protocols. because of some dumb protocol, i can't have my phone tracked via GPS. and so now i will definitely not get my phone back. fml man.

and as for the idiot who took my phone. thank you for entertaining me by picking up my call each time i phoned my number for an entire hour. and thank you for being such a jerk by taking the ownership of my phone.

i hope you

GO TO HELL

BURN IN HELL

STAY IN HELL

BURN MORE IN HELL

SPEND AN ETERNITY IN HELL

you bloody idiot. and damn you again for making the record of me using the most amount of profanities in a day.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

i spent five minutes standing by the roadside today feeling lost and empty for i had lost my phone. my dear dear phone, which eventhough i hated so much for ALWAYS hanging, but loved so much for having that many contact numbers accumulated over the years. and my many meaningful messages as well as saved names of stupid taxi drivers which i have yet to lodge complaints against. and my entire camera album. D:

i want my phone to grow legs now and walk back home.

this can't be happening.

it

must

be

a

dream.

cause i lost my alarm clock, LIFE, phone, LIFE, watch, LIFE, planner, LIFE, contact list, LIFE, diary, LIFE, camera album, and L I F E all in a day.

fucking fuck fucker fuck fuck faggot fuck.

okay that was just an excuse to use the word, not to scold anyone. HAHAHA!

Libellés : :(, ALFRED, depressing news, emo-shitzssgfsrgwg, explosions, freak accidents, out of the blue gibberishh, typical singaporeans, weirdos

anyways, since NICOLE LIM just reminded me, so i shall talk about this then.

how does one judge how close friends really are to each other?

i am not sure about you people out there, but for myself, i judge it close when i decide to disclose secrets, and indulge in heart-to-heart conversations at times.

in a way, that's how i tell these people that i value them as close friends. you may not know my favourite food, my favourite hang-outs, but if you do know a secret or two of mine, you are a close friend.

and in a way, when these people choose not to let me know about their issues, be it woes or happiness, i take it that you do not value the closeness of the friendship.

i understand how some people choose not to talk about problems, as it just makes them sad when they talk about it. but i don't understand how one could not share the joy of being in a relationship. as to having me find out on my own, or to hear it from someone else, i guess it jsut puts me off.

during work i was upset, not just because i was sick, but because you chose to change the topic. maybe we really aren't that close after all.

i don't know if you really do make people feel as though you have fallen for them, but you do make people feel that you value close friends. in which, for the first time in my life, my intuition failed me.

enough about things not worth my time. back to the more important things to do.

Libellés : :(, :), ALFRED, BEST FRIENDS, BIRTHDAYS, BOSSINI, explosions, photos, work

fucking migraine. what's up with the combo with the weather as well.

my head is spinning and i just blew blood from my nose.

i do not intend to get a well-deserved rest in this manner. :(

Libellés : :(, ALFRED, emo-shitzssgfsrgwg, explosions

i am not going to say, Doctor F, or Mr Xday or Lecturer XXX.

i am just going to say,

FUCK YOU FORDAY WAYNE LEE.

i don't care if you would happily google your name and come tumbling down to my blog and see me hurling profanities at you.

because frankly speaking, i thought you were a nice person. and that i thought that after explaining to you the other day that i would no longer be playing truant for your classes, that we would have reached a certain understanding. but unfortunately, we did not.

i was sick today, and no matter how horrid i felt, i dragged my sorry ass down to the clinic and waited for two freaking hours in order to get a bloody medical certificate just so that i could prove to you that i was not playing truant.

and to think that you would call my parents up and complain to them regarding my absence from your lessons. where in the first place, you could have respected me a little and gave me a call before you did phoned them.

thank you for causing an uproar in my house. thank you for making me feel worst when i am already sick.

i would understand why you would not believe me in this case for yes, indeed, previously i played truant and i skipped your lessons on purpose and that i avoided you because of you , but i thought that you would have listened to my explanations that day, or in any sense, that you would have at least considered talking to me first before you did such a direct and hard approach on things.

i can see where you are coming at, that you would be concerned and that you care for me as a student, but frankly speaking, this is not the way to do things, not in the least, the way i would think of how you should do things.

if attendance is what you want, fine i will give it to you, even if i am dying i would force myself to head down to your lessons and sit in for the attendance. but do not expect me to respect you, or respond to you or even simply, see you as a lecturer. because very frankly, you are not.

do not think that just because you look like a freaking adorable smurf, you can go around charming people off and let them think that you are really really nice. because, ever more frankly, you are not. you are a devil in disguise.

you disgust me.

with love,

ALFRED TAN.

Libellés : ALFRED, explosions, weirdos

a cold cold cold mug of beer after work.

i need to calm my nerves, with whats going on now and with whatever mental illness my father maybe having. and just to clarify things, my dad is not literally psychotic, but the way he is acting now, he is psychotic.

all the things happening now. i am so sick of it.

let's hope acting ignorant can do something about it too. in the meantime, LEFT 4 DEAD is infecting me!!! zzzz.

Libellés : ALFRED, emo-shitzssgfsrgwg, explosions, school stuffs

biochemistry is this friday! i just found out on that one.

FUCK YEAH IM GONNA FAIL!

nyahh, have to start studying tomorrow night,

ALFRED TAN CHOON LEONG FROM MOLECULAR BIOTECHNOLOGY 07/08,

STOP FUCKING SLACKING.

roars. D:

i so have no self-discipline, nor faith in myself.

Libellés : ALFRED, depressing news, emo-shitzssgfsrgwg, exams, explosions, freak accidents, not-so-good-news, out of the blue gibberishh, randomization

money is the one thing that can allow me to continue studying.

yet it is the one thing that can doom my grades and prevent me to continue studying.

its just not fair. why cant i be the lucky shit who spends big money and acts like a shitty spoilt brat for just once.

oh wells, i shall continue to act like i am already ten years ahead of the age i should be. :/

Libellés : ALFRED, explosions, out of the blue gibberishh, randomization, work

Libellés : ALFRED, BIRTHDAYS, explosions, freak accidents, out of the blue gibberishh, randomization

its not nice to tell someone who has had a hard day's work that he spends alot when in fact, the money that comes out of all that working shit, is simply used to pay for things that other people dont even have to bother.

i am so sick of paying. i am only eighteen, and i really want to tell them that i am in fact, really simply truly just eighteen and am unable to fend for myself paying for so many things and so many of my own expenses. that i simply want to indulge like all the other kids around me.

i envy kids that put out their hands and get stacks of cash without any effort. i envy those kids more when they tell me they are older than me.

sometimes i just cant help but wish for a different life.

sorry, but all i want to hear when i come home is a simple "tough day huh?"

anything other than that, you can keep it to your own mouth and let it stay zipped. because i dont like feeling old, i dont want to feel responsible, or independent. i should be right where i should be, irresponsible, irrational, wild and expensive, but at the same time, dependent.

its not like i dont llike to work or anything, i love service. but sometimes, you get sick of working every single day and not being able to enjoy yourself like others because they are ten miles away from fretting about paying their bills on time, saving enough money for laptop loans, saving enough money to ever simply, just pay for his own school fees. these things, are not nice to be worth mentioning. im tired, yes, but life goes on.

Libellés : explosions

aisyah amanda arifin baoxian beatrice caiying carmen casandra chenyaan chanyiting cheryl christopher chuanmin cindee edmund fatin gohhuimin huz jessicakong kaiyan limsili nithya qianhui qiaoyu queenie rafie ruiqi siokxin syazana tanyiting tayhuimin tecksheng tim timothy yingxian yongming


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