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if you don't like something, change it.
if you can't change it, change your attitude.

i just felt my tooth hurt.

and then i touched it.

now, a shaky tooth and it feels pain, what can that be? there can only be one reason to that right?!

and of all teeth, it's the one in front?!

HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW. i brush my teeth daily, i'm not so much of a sweet tooth, and i always eat sugar free candy. HOW CAN THIS HAPPEN TO ME?!

i don't wanna wear dentures. please please please, let me be dreaming. :(

Libellés : :(, ALFRED, depressing news, freak accidents

i was walking straight, and looking right at my reflection.

walking, walking, walking.

and i knocked into the mirror. we were in fourskins, and the sales associates were laughing at me.

i was so groggy and totally regretted leaving house today, but had to help Kings with preparing for this coming thursday's Mister Singapore event.

now my fever's back and i'm cooking porridge in the middle of the night so that i can eat medicine. :/

and nicole lim qian hui still can bully me.

Libellés : :(, ALFRED

staying over at the school loft today.

Libellés : :(, :), ALFRED, freak accidents

minds cafe dude says, "do these cards look the same?"

weisheng replies, "no."

i say, "nope."

AISYAH replies, "about."

no wait, allow me to rephrase that.

AISYAH exclaims, "I'M STUPID."

as you can see, today was a Saturday and i decided to go on a little escaping! hahaha, left early after the girls' lesson. and then went off to meet the crazy idiots. of whom, all were extremely late, despite constant reminders to me, telling me to be on time.

and so, it started off a little irritated, cause i'm always not happy when i have gastric.

and then we got down to Swensen's for the long-awaited ICE CREAM BUFFET! finally, finally able to go for my ice cream buffet since so long ago. so allow me to round up on a couple of stuff that we did.

we complained about a waiter, HAHA. okay fine, i complained about a waiter. and then the manager obviously thought of us as some pesky kids trying to fool around, which i was NOT. the waiter was supposedly the host for the queuing area, in which he had to be fairly polite and refreshing to the customers who are already kept on wait in line. HOWEVER, he was so darn rude and treated us like we were having some lucky draw. so there's a bad first impression of the restaurant already, isn't that poor waitering skills?!

shall not talk about it anymore. then we had a lot of ice cream, wasted a lot of cake and definitely played with the ice cream. talk about REGURGITATING everything, it will take ages. and having a sugar rush results in acting dumb, which explains all my videos of stupidity on facebook, credits to eugene lee zhao hui.


eugene's "ice cream", which i later had fun "blending" into a paste as though i worked at Sweet Talk.


Aisyah's baby food, filled will all that cereal stuff. AND SHE CAN STILL KEEP UP WITH THE COMPLAINING OF BEING FULL.


Weisheng's Princess Darling Dessert. HAHA! looks like cinderella.


and here's mine, the best and most delicious of all cause it's made by ME! lol.

and i stole Eugene's ez-link card by the way. HAAHAHHA! stupid can, drop on the floor and still didn't realized.


and.....we had an ugly doll before we eventually played ugly doll. HHAHAAH!


pffffftt. i look damn retarded. couldn't stop laughing from suggesting the idea that we take a photo with the Dole Pineapple Mascot. so hence, the red and retarded face plus the body that couldn't stand straight.

and and and we helped this old lady who was lost!

directed her to Isetan at Shaw. felt damn nice and accomplished after that. like as though i did something damn good. and i seriously don't mind spending my whole day walking around finding lost old people and helping them find their way. cause, it makes me feel a little bit more like a human. hehs.

moving on.

we went off to MINDS! after eugene decided to PANGSEH.

so we headed off to minds where i had chunks of meat missing off from my hands thanks to aisyah's finger nails. we did a hell lot of dumb stuff there, including playing UGLY DOLLS! damn stupid game.

and the two of them were so dumb that they kept losing and doing forfeits, whilst i just sat back and relaxed.

but nevertheless, i decided to be nice and at the final game that we were playing, i lost and did a dumb forfeit. hahaha. but yeah. was a very very relaxing day despite the tension in the morning and the tension in the week.

damn worth it to spend every saturday like this.

and we would cross paths at the bus stop, but no, you wouldn't even notice me.

the cyan shirt amidst the browns in the crowd, but your eyes only on someone who's long left you.

Libellés : :(, :), :/, ALFRED, explosions, freak accidents, pennies for my thoughts, photos, poly friends

i went down for tuition today in a good mood, buying snacks for them, but only to almost cry in front of the kid.

sometimes he behaves and sometimes he would misbehave. today was the day he misbehaved tremendously and god knows why. he was misbehaving the whole time i was trying to get him to do his homework, and finally i got him to do his chinese homework, which was to write lines for some chinese sentences. after dragging for thirty minutes, he only did one page. then he complained that his hand hurt. i told him to just finish another three more lines and we could move on to another subject, but he talked back and kept complaining about his hand hurting. i got angry and hit him with the ruler on his arm. and then he hit me for hitting him.

then he continued to complain that his hand hurts. so i asked him, if he wanted to finish the work, which was still short of another twenty lines and get a fifteen minutes break or finish another two lines before we moved on to science. and he didn't talk to me.

so i moved on to science, and he complained that he had already completed his work. how so when he was supposed to do the entire exercise five and he only did two pages. so i asked him if he wanted to go back to doing chinese and again he ignored me. then i took out his maths homework and asked him to try doing it instead. and again he ignored me. so i took out his chinese homework again and told him that since he doesn't want to do anything else, let's just go back to writing lines. he wrote one line and starting tearing.

then he stood up and tried to run off, so i held him down and wanted to talk to him nicely, asked him what he promised his mother before she went overseas (to study hard cause he failed every single subject in school). he pinched me, hit me, kicked me and tried to step on me. then he ran into his room and locked the door, crying.

the brother and the maid asked him what's wrong and all he said was,

"i want teacher to get out!

i won't go out till teacher get out!"

he told the maid that i stressed him too much, that i made him do too much work at one go. but it was his homework which he delayed for two days already. the maid was really understanding cause all these while she had been helping me talk to him, telling me about her own frustrations when she first started working, and how she understood how i felt. i simply told her that sometimes i look at them and i just feel like saying, maghal cita pero galiakusayo. which means i love you but i hate you in Tagalog.

when i first got this assignment, i was shocked cause the children's grades were very terrible and they misbehaved badly possibly due to the parent's separation and the mother's constant absence. i would go down every lesson and leave feeling so angry because he just wouldn't behave himself and always talked back to me, yet pitying the boys cause they just wanted the attention. and somehow, i got attached to them as much as i was annoyed by them.

they had more than eight tutors before me and none had ever talked to the mother about her children's poor discipline. as a tutor, i can just go, teach and collect the money.

i would have just quit as their tutor. but i really wanted to help them. the older child improved so much cause he knew that if he doesn't help himself, how can i help him. yet the younger boy just never understands that i'm trying to help him.

and hearing him shouting that he wants me to leave, just made me very sad.

i had a long talk with him and gave him fifteen minutes to cool off, and he finally understood that i was just there to guide him and help him with his work, so he gingerly sat down and completed all his work. but at the end of the day, he still refused to say sorry to me. i'm glad actually that he has improved so much, when i first went he never once sat down properly to do my work or listened to me. and he always told me that i can't do this or that to him cause i'm not his god.

of course he doesn't do that anymore, but today it dawned upon me that i suck as a tuition teacher. since he is still poorly behaved.

and not just that, but i suck in my grades as well. i suck with my part-time job and even my aspirations get crushed every saturday. i sucked with relationships. and i sucked even more with my friendships.

my life sucks because i have come into sticky situations time and time again. and today i was told that my name affected my life in a negative way. so, my name sucks and being born with it just means that i was born to suck in life.

i wanted to get my first meal of the day just now, but decided not to. cause i really don't have the appetite.

it sucks to not be appreciated, but it sucks even more knowing that you are not worth appreciation. am i really nice? if i was nice then my life would have been nice.

sorry for such a weird post and for the past few emotional posts as well, but i really just wanted to rant it all out. after all, everything's been dragging for so long and it's getting tiring and nonsensical. and it's just me for having low self-esteem.

if you were to ask me, am i depressed or am i sad. i'm not too sure either. cause being depressed is when nothing matters and being sad is when every matters.

right now, everything matters cause nothing matters anymore. i may give good advises, but i'm not a good adviser of my own life you see.

Libellés : :(, ALFRED, emo-shitzssgfsrgwg

i simply adore UDDERS!

and firstly, it's because jiesi is working there! secondly, they sell alcohol in ice cream!

ice cream makes me happy when i'm sad, and alcohol numbs the pain. so just being entitled to the peace of sitting home with a pint of choya sorbet to myself, i think life's good enough.

truly good enough.

Libellés : :(, ALFRED

"EXCUSE ME,

BUT YOUR BUTT IS WIPING MY FACE."

was damn annnoyed by the idiot who took his own sweet time climbing up the stairs. if he had moved any slower or had been more engaged in his retarded conversation with his friend, yeahh his butt would have been in my face.

seriously, its either you walk faster or you don't block the entire stairway when your butt is so bloody big. it's like this dude can go make a living or something from simply wiping the windscreens with his butt.

erk. bad day bad day.

from nearly getting my face wiped to having my hairband broken cause i was too nervous during my paper today and to getting a real tough paper. ARGH! zzzz.

VEX VEX VEX VEX VEX VEX VEX VEX VEX VEX.

Libellés : :(, ALFRED, pennies for my thoughts

i think the emoing has to stop. its making me more of a dumb blonde day by day.

and im getting more and more listless, and weird.

i turned on my computer earlier on and tried to listen to a song. with the ear piece stuck in my ears no sound came. i tried playing other sources of videos and songs, and still there was no sound. i tuned the volume to the maximum level and still, nothing.

the computer was turned on and off and on and off over and over again. still, nothing.

i was on the verge of panicking, for fear that my laptop has gone spoilt and crazy. and then, i tried unplucking and re-inserting the ear phones. only to realize that,

i wasn't wearing the ear piece that was plucked in to the computer. i was wearing another pair of ear piece.

what is wrong with me. what is wrong with me.

Libellés : :(, ALFRED, emo-shitzssgfsrgwg, freak accidents, pennies for my thoughts, photos

it hurts to wallow up in pain and loneliness.

i woke up this morning to a message asking if i was feeling better, thanks so much cause i really needed that.

and in case any of you guys are planning to look for someone to eat supper with, i think you would have to wait for some time before the bottomless pit is back in action.

i have officially lost my appetite for food and i feel nauseated every morning when i wake up and every night before i sleep. plus, i am currently on an unofficial curfew due to the 7th month.

can't wait for exams to end so i can just cuddle up in bed and while away.

Libellés : :(, ALFRED, emo-shitzssgfsrgwg, exams, freak accidents, pennies for my thoughts, Princess Elizabeth

the human heart can be so protective sometimes. or do we call it pretentious?

i don't think you can call it true love when you can't even afford to bring yourself to trust the other party? was the serpent really more worthy of eve's trust than adam was?

it has been a long 36hours, and i made some decisions in the morning, and now i am further affirmed of my choice.

and i have been shocked by the unexpected. and really, i am at a lost and speechless as much as i try my best to not be disturbed by the knowledge of it all. i am proud of myself for not reacting badly.

and i just recalled that i have my fyp meeting at 10am later. damn it.

Libellés : :(, ALFRED, pennies for my thoughts

because beauty comes

at the price of imperfection.

is perfection really what everyone pursues? is it something that is so desirable, just like how beauty can be so obsessively sought after?

did i mentioned that i watched UP! ?

well i plan to watch it again. it's really very touching and something different for me to think about. cause, it talks about the one thing that i would hate to have in life. of being all alone when you are old and viviana is really pissing me off acting crazy here in macdonalds.

ANYWAYS, as i was saying.

wait, now she is singing to the national anthem. and she said i sucked. then i told her she fucked. hahah, okay no. just wanted to hurl some profanities cause im damn dead tired.

let's not side track, shall we?

wait, before i continue, i must mention that spending the night in macdonalds studying with a lunatic can make you really very patient.

so back to the topic, yes there was this scene when Fredicksen was about to be sent off to the old folk's home, forced to leave his one and only accompaniment left. sighs.

i am so afraid of being alone and so afraid of being forgotten and left behind. and im not even in my twenties and i already add woes to my life like an old man. but its true. its something that i would gladly avoid. then again, its only when you lose something, do you gain another, just like in the movie.

so damn grateful for the people around me everyday who brightens up my life little by little.

anyways i ABHOR thursday all of a sudden. cause i was planning to be sleeping later in the morning when i was done studying all night, but sadly i still have to move my ass down to the studio for styling.

no wonder i was feeling so vulgar. tsk.

Libellés : :(, ALFRED, BEST FRIENDS, explosions, freak accidents, out of the blue gibberishh, pennies for my thoughts, photos, school stuffs, Shine

until the tears run dry and get replaced by blood.

until the heart stops beating from all that pain.

until the head crumbles from all that reminiscing.

when you stop loving me.

by alfred.

sighs.

today has been full of bad news and bad thoughts and more sadness.

but i was glad i had the day to go by with the company of blondie. let's catch UP! again! to compensate for the front part we missed. hehs.

Libellés : :(, ALFRED, BLONDIE, depressing news, emo-shitzssgfsrgwg

and so the heart ached like how it tried its very best not to.

yet deep down, i know its impossible.

i love you, but in a different way.

Libellés : :(

just days ago, i remember seeing the news talk about how Taiwan was struggling with the longest drought they have experienced to date.

today, i see the faces of pain and helplessness filmed in the media. Typhoon Morakot hit Taiwan just like that, and within a mere few days more than 600 people are have been buried alive, thousands were presumably dead, and communications to several rural villages have been cut off.

And the numbers go up as the clock ticks by the second.

i hope that they can get through this. really. i have friends in Tainan, Kaoshuing. And the area has already been hit by the typhoon. its scary how sometimes, life can be as equally fragile as dried clay, dried clay that can easily crumble into powder and set sail in the wind.

its terrifying to know of the news of a man, who lost all his ten family members just because the house collapsed.

its heartbreaking to hear of how two sons searched in desperation for their mother, despite the typhoon ongoing, all in hopes of just wanting to find her remains and hold her for one last time.

as we sit comfortably back in our homes; people are crying their lungs out there, lost and buried in total darkness, thinking and reflecting on their lives as the oxygen runs out. and right now, the storm is moving up towards Japan, Kanto.

Let's hope Typhoon Etau won't be as worst.

Libellés : :(, ALFRED, freak accidents

stung by the emo bug.

i spent an hour walking around bukit batok. from toh tuck till burgundy rise and then till bukit batok west and then to the east. all the way until block 130 and then back to block 626 again, before heading home.

Run by Leona Lewis on the repeat in my mp3 all the while. ggoing through my head over and over again.

something is wrong with me, again.

Libellés : :(, ALFRED, emo-shitzssgfsrgwg

i need a sign like that. at least i can put up the sign and lose my mind, go crazy, break free and let loose as and whenever i like.

life has too many ups and downs and sometimes even if you try to think of it as a see-saw ride, it ain't that fun after all.

mehhhhh.

it's time to let go. run. and not look back.

Alfred has to learn to be even more crazy, to learn to smile even when things are not alright.

Libellés : :(, ALFRED, emo-shitzssgfsrgwg

REDCLAW CRAYFISH.

these would be what i will be what i will be taking care of when september starts. i shall be cleaning their shit, wiping their asses, maybe measuring them and not to forget feeding them.

yes yes, i have gotten my FINAL YEAR PROJECT TOPIC! ((((:

finally, the much anticipated project is here! finally i will be able to be like a year three! :D this is damn exciting!!

anyways...

i have had my resignation letter typed out. and printed out. i am just contemplating whether if i should send it in. truth is, i am really sick of Waraku. i know this is not like me, to give up on a job and be irresponsible. but over time the management has really made me sick and tired of working. the past four years working in different places, it's really the first time i feel like i am not being appreciateed as a staff. Waraku Holdings has given me one of the, no wait, THE most unfavourable working experiences. period.

mehhhh.


to the left, to the left. it's not like the escalator is some can and everyone's trying to be the sardines. but i really admire SIM for their students' culture with the escalator courtesy, seemingly wired into their brains or something. they really keep to the left and usually the ones who don't are from ngee ann. which is so embarrassing since im also from ngee ann, just that im usually rushing my way up the escalator than to just simply stand there and pretend that my butt's damn big.

"excuse me, but i think you should shift your butt to the left."

lol. but really, i don't understand why people really just like to stand there and block the way. it's the same for the MRTs and the lifts, where the people die die refuse to move so that others can get out first. will it really kill you to move your asses?

and coouples. they like to pretend that they are one when they are doing that hugging thing or kissing thing. but seriously, your butts are equally big even when you try to have them combined. or maybe they have a coin slot somewhere...like i have to slot in a 20 cent coin so that they will open their gateway or something.

Libellés : :(, :), ALFRED, out of the blue gibberishh, photos, randomization, school stuffs, typical singaporeans, work

was sending songs online to princess elizabeth the other day.

Fuck You by Lily Allen

elizabeth: eh the previous song is to scold me one or is it really just a song?

YOU THINK?! himbo leh. HAHAHAHAH!

anyways, let's talk about smarter topics.

i have survived my week of ASSIGNMENTS! though im still owing my 2000000000000000word essay for cancer biomarkers, but overall the other stuffs are all DONE! D-O-N-E!

i am so proud of myself. P-R-O-U-D!

and and and i have also recovered from my cold-turned-fever-turned-flu-turned-migraine. which is good, because i feel so much better now and i can also get to carry my fatty niece! :D


and of course, with many thanks to BLONDIE, i managed to do quite well for my CLONES presentation. and i am so proud of my slides that i want to present it again and again and again and again. the ethical dilemma of clones! so interesting yet annoying. ishh.

okay, i have decided! i am going to save up for that ZARA JACKET I SAW! :( one two nine says the price tag, but i shall try! as hard as i can.

anyway, nicole is down with a possible H1N1 and it sounds rather serious, so having just recovered from influenza, i shall cross my fingers for you! and hopee she gets well like asap, so unlike her to be sick. :(

and, here's a picture of ngee ann's very own superman!

Libellés : :(, :), ALFRED, BEST FRIENDS, BLONDIE, merisse, out of the blue gibberishh, photos, poly friends, Princess Elizabeth, randomization, weirdos

western medication and TCM comes in a package everytime im sick. there would be this series of gobbling down the western medication and liver oil pills with the help of TCM herbal tea. and to be exact, TCM herbal tea boiled with ginger. BLAH! damn erk.

i wish my nose can stop dripping non-stop like a water hose. it's like sooner or later the firemen will be putting out fire with my nose.

mehh.

now, before i go to sleep, i must blog about Aisyah's birthday surprise.



the entire PAINSTAKINGLY drafted process.

it was a simple saturday evening when weisheng came online to wish me happy birthday. and then i asked him how was he planning to spice things up for that crazy woman.

so, since weisheng hadn't had anything in mind, with my genius of a smart brain i came up with the plan:

to surprise her during lecture where weisheng was to hide in the emergency exit door.

it was the most exciting thing to do, to plan something and then see it come to life successfully. first, aisyah would come to school. second, before lecture starts weisheng will sneak into the lecture theatre and hide in the emergency exit area because aisyah is to come by the front. and third, i was to trick aisyah into coming to the emergency exit area with me.

now, the birthday girl obviously OBVIOUSLY has skills in ruining plans.

on monday i headed down to Four Leaves by the atrium and ordered a cake. the problem was, the flavour. and so i got weisheng to ask aisyah subtly on the type of fruits she liked. hence, resulting in telling weisheng to talk about pomegranate cookies, which, i seriously suspect don't exist at all. and then we decided on strawberries. so it was going to be strawberry shortcake. and the aunty at the bakery thought that i was getting a cake for my girlfriend. =.=

then wednesday afternoon fatin shocked me by telling me that aisyah has decided to skip school on friday. and then everyone flipped. and so i told fatin to tell aisyah that she needs her proteomics logbook, so aisyah must come on friday to pass the logbook to fatin.

problem resolved, for the moment.

and i thought things would go smoothly there after. where i was WRONG.

little miss asshole aisyah decided to be indecisive about going to school because she was unsure of what to wear. and thus, i spent the night before persuading and helping her with her choice of clothes.

and then the next morning, she decided to be LATE for class. and now nobody knows when and where will she be coming from. with Anil informed to tell her SPECIFICALLY to enter the lecture theatre by the front, as the emergency exit was located at the back door. this bloody idiot decided to come by the back. and then she saw fatin and weisheng with the cake while i was off looking for a lighter. IDIOT.

and then when she finally settled down in the lecture hall pretending to be oblivious to it all, she refused to come to the emergency exit area with me. TSK!

so we had no choice but to bring the cake to her majesty.

the entire process was full of cold sweat and shocks and heart attacks and more cold sweats. nevertheless,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AISYAH, AND TYVM FOR THE TROUBLE.

my brain cells died and died over and over again. no doubt why i am sick today.

Libellés : :(, :), ALFRED, BIRTHDAYS, photos, poly friends, randomization, school stuffs

damn the police force. damn the idiot who stole my phone anyway.

TSK!

i can't believe i was so blonde as to drop my phone and not check if i had it on me before i alighted off the bus today. i always always always checked if i had my handphone, ez-link card, wallet, and keys with me everytime i got off a bus. just so today i flustered and didn't. DAMN!

and now i hate protocols. because of some dumb protocol, i can't have my phone tracked via GPS. and so now i will definitely not get my phone back. fml man.

and as for the idiot who took my phone. thank you for entertaining me by picking up my call each time i phoned my number for an entire hour. and thank you for being such a jerk by taking the ownership of my phone.

i hope you

GO TO HELL

BURN IN HELL

STAY IN HELL

BURN MORE IN HELL

SPEND AN ETERNITY IN HELL

you bloody idiot. and damn you again for making the record of me using the most amount of profanities in a day.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

i spent five minutes standing by the roadside today feeling lost and empty for i had lost my phone. my dear dear phone, which eventhough i hated so much for ALWAYS hanging, but loved so much for having that many contact numbers accumulated over the years. and my many meaningful messages as well as saved names of stupid taxi drivers which i have yet to lodge complaints against. and my entire camera album. D:

i want my phone to grow legs now and walk back home.

this can't be happening.

it

must

be

a

dream.

cause i lost my alarm clock, LIFE, phone, LIFE, watch, LIFE, planner, LIFE, contact list, LIFE, diary, LIFE, camera album, and L I F E all in a day.

fucking fuck fucker fuck fuck faggot fuck.

okay that was just an excuse to use the word, not to scold anyone. HAHAHA!

Libellés : :(, ALFRED, depressing news, emo-shitzssgfsrgwg, explosions, freak accidents, out of the blue gibberishh, typical singaporeans, weirdos

aisyah amanda arifin baoxian beatrice caiying carmen casandra chenyaan chanyiting cheryl christopher chuanmin cindee edmund fatin gohhuimin huz jessicakong kaiyan limsili nithya qianhui qiaoyu queenie rafie ruiqi siokxin syazana tanyiting tayhuimin tecksheng tim timothy yingxian yongming


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