if you don't like something, change it.
if you can't change it, change your attitude.
dimanche 11 octobre 2009 14:57
as i sat there bored by the sluggish attitude of the boy, as my eyes slowly protested to clamp shut with lethargy, my mind was suddenly perked by the sudden gush of iron tasting liquid in my mouth.
i wasn't sure what to do, but simply walked calmly to the toilet and locked the door. next thing i know, i was staring at a puddle of rich, red spit in the sink. and then there was more, as i spit splatter after splatter for nearly fifteen minutes.
no amount of water from the tap seemed to be able to rid the sickening shade of red that had manifested half of the whiteness in the porcelain sink.
at first i thought i was vomiting blood, amusing myself whilst being shocked that probably the kid had pissed me till my veins burst. and then there was the gushing of the tap, again and again, repeatedly, until the sink no longer glistened in red, until i rinsed my mouth clear of blood.
maybe i hadn't been sleeping enough, maybe the weather's too hot for me to take. i don't know. or maybe it's because of the recent alcohol binge.
just got home from a series of Zirca, Butter Factory and lastly, Zouk Phuture!
:DDD been a helll of a night, but am damn happy and perked up. super glad that kingsley ang got into top three as anticipated as well! he did not disappoint his stylist man! hahahah.
alright, going to sleeeeeep and upload photos and videos later. (((((:
indeed, if you asked if i was alright, the obvious answer would be no.
i'm kind of thankful to aisyah, cause for the week she has been discouraging me to drink by calling me siao. and just a few hours ago, she approached me to talk to me about my problems, of which i hadn't addressed to, but did explain about the recent uncontrolled drinking behaviour.
and then she started ogling at man boobs. well, technically it's my fault since i showed her the website of Shine, but yeah, she started drooling as well. don't fake woman, i know your laptop confirm wet.
so then we moved on from the ambiguously spoken matters of the heart to the openly spoken matters of the muscles. and so i suggested that she should jsut go and watch porn. seriously. the way she describes the muscles, it's like she is already having an orgasm on her own.
i can't wait to knock myself to senses, to know that it's really not a matter of how it could be us,
but a matter of when i would wake up and stop dreaming.
jeudi 8 octobre 2009 01:38
DRINK
DANCE
DON'T THINK
i repeat, i am not a drunkard, i am an ALCOHOLIC. :))))
i admit i may have a drinking problem, but i absolutely don't think that drinking everyday is very crazy, it's not like i make myself drunk as well. i do need company, but everyone's just too busy for me. so i have the good old alcohol.
the rich asses drink a glass of wine a day for good health, so the poor me can opt for a cheaper alternative too, a bottle everyday. :D
so there's more drinking to come, friday and saturday clubbing anddddd monday drinking. can't wait!
by the way, i couldn't update part three to the OKTOBEER FESTIVAL because photos are with nicole. shall update asap. nights people.
i'm kind of having butterflies in my stomach right now as i received a message about typhoon Parma hitting the Philippines for a second time tonight, and that singapore will be affected.
and my parents are taking flight tomorrow morning. though they are not going anywhere near the Philippines, but sometimes, these things are hard to predict.
i hope they have a safe flight. keep my fingers crossed.
so here's the update for the fourth day of working at the OKTOBEER FESTIVAL!
the events of course, not about boring work. the only fun thing about working is that we kept stealing food and beer! hehs. i love ERDINGGGGER! the taste is nice, but i think it's slightly too rich that after a while you get sick of it, especially when you drink it consecutively for four, five days.
so after work, and having only slept three hours after prawning till 6am in the morning the previous night, the crazy me went ahead with my plans of clubbing.
so we went down to the Supperclub for the Rendezvous event, where girls had free entry if they wore bikinis. but apparently, all the girls rather spend some money than to show some skin. poor laveen, who was anticipating for like the entire time about the bikinis, but in the end there was a no-show. boohoo to anti-biginis!
and did i mention that Supperclub is bad? like real bad. the lighting is bright, so you can see everyone's faces. the DJ was bad, playing song by song endlessly, where at one point i was thinking,
"PO PO PO POKERFACE
MUST POKE UNTIL WHEN?"
and the AIR CON IS WEAK. so weak that everyone was slipping and sliding through sweat like we were at some swimming pool, or better still, in the middle of a marathon.
but nevertheless, fun comes from your friends and not your surroundings.
had a lot of fun with Aisyah and her Arty. as well as Weisheng and Laveen.
went down with Nicole and Yiwen as well. but felt real bad cause i was kind of neglecting them. hehs, so i decided to be nice and pay for their entry tickets.
so we clubbed till 4am. with the relentlessly shufflers shuffling their feet through the dancefloor. damn annoying please. i do not understand the rationale behind why we have to make space for a few guys to make squeaky noises on the floor when you can use the space for more people to squeeze in the dancefloor and club like crazy.
and the squeaky noises. if they want to play with rubber ducks, go home to their bath tubs please.
still, as much as i hate shufflers at clubs, i absolutely adore this picture of some unknown stranger. this was nicely taken. photos are of credits to Aisyah by the way.
and did i mention there were aisyah's friends too? this indian guy with a very interesting face. damn interesting. it's like he can act in some comedy and make people laugh without talking. but i guess aisyah's constant snapping of the camera flashes at the dancefloor was rather bizarre to cause some bizarre facial expressions.
as usual, alcohol makes me red easily. not to mention when you sweat so much, you don't know if you are red from the heat or red from the alcohol. but yeah. the gin tonic was so weak. totally couldn't get very high from the drinks as well.
so we decided to take more photos. and laugh at our nonsensical dancing, and also the stupid shufflers who shuffled from left to right, bottom to top. we shifted our dancing spot, but somehow they managed to find us again.all thanks to aisyah, attract so many guys for what. grrr.
and then after clubbing, we went off to chill. during which we found Aisyah's favourite initials. life science students would know this one.
moving on, we had more alcohol, ate halal food. the best maggi goreng in the world, which i shall not tell any of you! hahahah. they are so good, i want to keep their business at an average flow, in case i can't get seats next time.
so, a full twenty four hours passed since i woke up, and i was off to work, for the last day of the OKTOBEER EVENT! to be continued...
and i just realized this, last thursday was Erdinger Beer, followed by Hoegaarden on friday, then gin tonic and hooch on saturday, and then free flow of Erdinger on sunday! :D
i cried over this. in the middle of the night, sounds stupid.
but yeah we are only humans. at the end of the day, we all forget our purest inner selves. we tried to achieve longevity, civilization, materialistic lives. but even animals like dogs and cats harbored stronger emotions than we do.
if the grandmother in this video was a skinny old lady, i would have probably cried throughout the night. i remembered once there was this advertisement about an old lady buying cake for her granddaughter, but she got knocked down by the car in the end. the video was majorly about road safety, but what caught my attention was, the storyline.
at the dining table, my sister and i were left speechless by the advertisement. because when we were young, our maternal grandmother who stayed with us, would always give us a dollar each to buy a cake from the neighbourhood bakery. and she would just simply watch in delight as we ate the cakes in endless smiles and kid happiness.
she died many years back, due to my uncle's idiotic behaviours back then. it was only way after her death, did my uncle finally grew up and learned to be responsible.
this is why i always liked old ladies. i always feel that i could give them the care that i never got to give my grandmother as a young man. although my paternal grandmothers are still alive and well, i don't have to fret over them as they are healthy and in good hands of my cousins. what happened with my maternal grandmother was something tragic and what i couldn't prevent because i was too young and too stupid.
for seven days at her wake, i did not cry. up until the very last second, when her coffin was pushed into the incinerator, and as i saw the flames engulf her before the door fully closed. then i cried like nobody's business.
i hope this video makes you value your grandparents. i never had the chance for mine, cause she no longer stays with me, cooks for me, tells me bedtime stories. sighs, this is why i must stop sleeping late. cause i tend to get sad in the middle of the night. even a video almost must think about my own grandmother.
the other day yiwen told me that sometimes she pities me, because my life is full of tragedies. but actually, i experience what others do as well, just that mine is more packed full of drama.
and luckily, in the dead of the night, i have people like aisyah blabbering away with me about horoscopes, where she spelt,
Pisces for Pieces.
that got me laughing. going to sentosa tomorrow, so i ought to sleep early and go in anticipation!
i have not been home for say, three days?! and i know everyone missed me! including my pornographic stalker eugene.
happy? i mentioned your name! hahaha.
let's see. it's monday today, tuesday right now. i should be updating about the Oktober Beer Festival since it has ended, and also the other fun stuff during the entire weekend. i have been drinking every night, since last thursday. like beer, gin, beer, beer, more beer.
let's start with day three of the festival!
after work, i went off for prawning! like finally. all the things that i have been talking about relentlessly previously with the people that i wanted to go with, even the ice cream buffet, has been accomplished, but not with the same people. oh wells. life takes us all by surprises.
anyway, we were supposed to meet at Bishan's Hai Bin Prawning Park! but they were all LATE. can you believe this? i, for once, was actually the first to reach for a group gathering! and the place was damn crowded! it was like, prawning is the best thing to do in the middle of the night, according to the crowd, that is.
but i got bored. seriously. frankly speaking, i really didn't wanted to go because i knew he would come and bugger me about my schedule, nag and nag and nag like it's my fault. though i'm being irresponsibly childish with regards to work for the first time in my life.
but let's not digress, shall we?
yes, i got bored because i didn't catch anything for like half an hour! so i decided to go for the fish spa. was starting to emo, so despite them all not wanting to go, i still insisted to. :C
but yvonne and jandy were nice enough to tag along! sighs, i still do miss the good old nice people.
so we went for the fish spa! which started to perk me up! was so funny. we were laughing so much and embarrassing ourselves like nutheads! and it was quite ticklish, but after awhile, you'd find it very relaxing, with an occasional touch of giggling.
here's my legs on the right and yvonne's one leg at the bottom. apparently i was the only one curious enough to find out how it feels.
jandy's christmas trees! hahaha. i have always been itching to find out how it feels to do the fish spa, and indeed, it itches and tickles! hahaha.
and what's chilling out without booze?! had hoegaarden, one of my loves. but the price there was rather expensive, eight bucks for a bottle. though reasonable too cause they are like so far out in the middle of god knows where.
and so the short fish spa ended, after having spasms of laughing fits for thirty short minutes, which really felt like an hour or longer cause we were having a lot of fun. endless laughters. :)
and so i went back to check on our lovving couple's progress with the prawning. adelena was good with the rod, being the only one able to catch anything at all. but end up i was so sleepy that i let the catch slip back into the pond! felt damn bad. like they wasted three hours there. hehs.
Jandy-san prawning too!
and yvonne acting stupid as usual. HAHAHA!
and then after most of the group went back,
I CAUGHT MY FIRST PRAWN!
AND IT WAS BIG TOO!
hehs. was damn happy. cause i knew i wouldn't like the entire process unless i caught at least one. so i did, and it was BIG! and that sentence rhymes!
look at my stupid face. so proud of my big prawn somemore.
and i cooked it! along with the other ones we managed to catch later in the morning. hahah!
but was quite sad, cause i had to grill them along. and they squirmed. one tried to walk, the other tried to flip, and they all died. lol.
fresh fresh delicious prawns!
isn't mine big? tell me it's big. HAHA!
but sadly no one wanted to eat, so left me and Eva pigging out on the delicious prawns. you guys should seriously try live fresh prawns. they are so good without any seasoning, that i swear most of you will never touch frozen prawns again!
okay, this post is getting way too long for just one night's worth of fun. so i shall save the rest for tomorrow, about my next forty eight hours without sleep (inclusive of clubbing at SupperClub, fooling around at the Beer Festival!).
but i shall end off with this,
i'm itching to go again!
so PLEASE PLEASE! somebody go to the fish spa and prawning with me!
just came home from the Oktober Beer Festival at Swiss Club! damn cool. :)))
shall update a little about the first two days! DAY ONE
can you feel it? the excitement of the fun, beer, endless roasted delights, and craze!
we were dress in chef uniforms, complete with the hat! haha. just that our name tags were lousy masking tapes. but it's really damn cool to work there, cause they would collect your uniform daily and launder it for you! the next day we would simply have to collect it from the linen room. this is what i call high class employment.
our jobs? kill people.
hell, no! hahaha. the counter that yiwen and i are standing at, will be the Carving counter. where we slice pork knuckles for the people who come. this event, for your information, is a buffet with a price tag of $80. the german cuisines served, leaves you speeeeechless. and so i was the carver for day two! was doing runner yesterday, where i had to replenish the food. the germans are really hungry people.
so here's a peek at the scene! this was taken at a rather early time, but later into the night when the beer has gotten everyone perked up, people were dancing on the table tops, cruising to the music from the German Band on stage.
the atmosphere was really fun! totally felt like like, you know. those German Country Bar? so that explains the country music too. but it was really fun seeing the people in their traditional dresses and costumes. the ladies were wearing some sort of a lacy corset dress, so you can imagine what the beer promoter ladies were wearing.
and i saw the national bowler! Remy Ong i think.
and yes, did i mention that there was a whole cow in the kitchen area? yes. you didn't read it wrong. there was a WHOLE COW. and how many chefs does it take to roast a whole cow?
TEN. a team of ten chefs were required just to shift the cow, mind you. and they had to fix it to this metal pole.
the main chef examining the cow. making sure that it's seasoned to perfection.
and then, after like one or two hours' worth of fixing the cow onto the stand, they left it suspended above two trays of charcoal, with a motor fixed to the stand so that the cow could rotate and spin whilst hovering over the charcoal!
and no doubt, there was a lot of joke made regarding the pole going into the cow.
and the next morning, VIOLA! a roasted whole cow fresh and ready to be served. and when the chef makes the first cut, i swear that the meat juices really just flowed out of the cow like rain fall. makes you wanna die for just one slice of that juicy tender meat. DAY TWO
i was working as the carver today! but arrived late, so i didn't manage to get any chef uniform today. but had a nice event tee instead, which i stole. HAHAHA!
before we start work, it's photo taking time!
and then we were busy slicing pork knuckles! it was crazy can. i have never sliced so much meat in my entire life. there were six counters, but the crowd was a whooping two thousand and six hundred strength. so my counter was just jammed packed. and i sliced and sliced till i eventually sliced my own hand. what seemed like a small cut, was actually so deep that blood soaked half my glove in a few minutes! and though it was a bad cut, there was nothing to except put on a plaster and get back to buzzing.
and so jsut now i was in the toilet, i took out the plaster. and the small cut, was actually a chunk of my flesh sliced out. D:
and it's still bleeding. but i've wrapped it up already. and my sore throat is down to a dry cough now by the way!
and and, i saw LAW! zzzz. of all people to meet. i had to run into him. lucky he was at the other counter, so i immediately turned my back on him. HAHA!
oh and what's a beer festival without drinking any beer?! there was Erdinger beer! fresh from german. just look at the colour of the beer, it tastes as good as hoe gaarden, and is ten thousand times better than local beer. and so, once again, i stole one of the beer mugs. HAHAHA!
and there was a Rod Stewart look-alike, Whitney Houston look-alike, and also a Michael Jackson! i wonder how much they earn for looking so similar. the Rod stewart was really Rod Stewarty.
there's still another three more days to the event, but i've heard that the tickets are already fully sold out for the next few days. so i can expect more full house response at the carver's counters if i happen to be doing the carving.
"but i guess you probably didn't want the friendship"
i guess. once again, assumptions.
do you know why i didn't want to talk? because i wanted to save the friendship. we've talked it through before, and we needed time off so that things could revert back to how it was but you constantly held on, and wouldn't let it go. and are you sure you wanted to salvage the friendship? because after that, how many times have you messaged me telling me you thought of me because of a song.
i can't do this anymore. ironically, the person who tells me that i have hurt her the most, has in fact hurt me more than anyone else have ever did.
even after i have let go, you refuse to let me do so. even after i have decided to start afresh, you constantly reminded me of the old. whaaat do you want me to do?
i asked to be allowed a post of emotional rupture, titled it that "i would bury this in a field of lavenders". all and all was because i jsut wanted to let it out once and for all and then not talk about it anymore. but no, you had to come and comment about it. you had to come and tell me what i shouldn't do or what i am doing wrong.
and then you end off with all the best.
if this is your idea of a cruel joke, you should be laughing now. go ahead, go tell the world what a jerk i am, what an asshole i am. go and tell them that i am the worst guy ever. and while you are at it, please don't reply to this post, or give any more of your comments.
i've had enough.
as of this moment, i want nothing to do with you. so yes, now i feel that once i get my songs back, it's goodbye. and you have only yourself to thank.
this entire year, has been so screwed up, that i still can't believe that it's only october right now. i had lost a handful of friends, shattered my own heart, screwed up a relationship that i initially desired so badly but ruined it all just because i was too weak in the heart.
you have a whole group of friends to console you, but i have no one. after what has happened this year i am afraid of opening up again, afraid of making friends. i'm sick, and i'm really tired, but who's there for me?
maybe you would be hurt after reading this, but just as well, since i'm going to pretend that i do not know your new blog address. just the same as what shiquan did, change your blogs and disappear whilst hiding in a corner reading my blog everyday and then out of the blue send me some messages to i don't know, reprimand me?
aisyah was right, the matters of the heart are too complicated, so complicated that we should leave it alone. i'm never going to fall into another relationship again, and even if i feel like it, i'm going to screw myself up so bad that nobody wants me.
and anyone else reading this, YES I HAVE ISSUES, so live with it.
and yes, aisyah. so now you see. it's not that i want to think about all these, but they jsut keep coming. one after another. till the day i die. till i fucking rot and they would still come.
See what aisyah is holding? That was the bottle of bombay sapphire that we finished in less than six hours. and note weisheng's cheeky little face. cause you are going to see more of that.
okay, i think the bombay's on the floor now. and the furball at the bottom right corner is actually chiu chern's head.
Things to highlight of that night? Well, weisheng was all over the floor.
and he had difficulty getting up, whilst we all had difficulty straightening our backs from laughing at him.
more of that cheeky face yo, weisheng. but boy were we glad that he finally got up from the floor.
but he was still unstable. but we continued with the camwhoring.
i initially didn't want to put this photo, but i noticed weisheng's face so i jsut had to put it up here. and i seriously don't know what was with that face when he talked to abigail.
and this is a joke man. they were bugging me to take a photo and end up all of them were laughing, with abigail flirting with the panda at one corner.
oh oh and abigail made me stripped so she could take this. HAHA. i was friggin' shivering and she refused to return my shirt.
and they went out for more boooze! but returned with nothing. :((
and when they got back, weisheng was on the floor again.
then abigail continued flirting with the panda. fatin's panda by the way.
more camwhoring..
and the divas were still working that green wall man.
and weisheng was back on the floor, again.
then we decided to leave the room, cause it was stinking of alcohol, as complained by arifin.
i guess, abigail's expression in this picture explains that look on my face.
fooling around more with the blankets. and we even did a three-person lion dance. weisheng called it an ant. and he was the ant head by the way.
and then before we know it, it was already morning and they found sesame street oscar's long lost brother.
