leave me out with the waste this is not what i do it's the wrong kind of place to be thinking of you it's the wrong time for somebody new it's a small crime and i got no excuse
and is that alright yeah? i give my gun away when it's loaded is that alright yeah? if you don't shoot it how am i supposed to hold it? is that alright yeah? i give my gun away when it's loaded is that alright yeah, with you?
leave me out with the waste this is not what i do it's the wrong kind of place to be cheating on you it's the wrong time she's pulling me through it's a small crime and i got no excuse
and is that alright yeah? if i give my gun away when it's loaded is that alright yeah? if you don't shoot it how am i supposed to hold it? is that alright yeah? i give my gun away when it's loaded is that alright? is that alright with you?
is that alright yeah? if i give my gun away when it's loaded is that alright yeah? if you don't shoot it how am i supposed to hold it? is that alright yeah? i give my gun away when it's loaded is that alright is that alright with you
and is that alright yeah? is that alright is that alright is that alright with you?
no? why must life put us in such pain and dilemma whenever they get that smallest chance.
"Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. " FML www.fmylife.com
i realised that alot of people have grasped my "blog-in-the-dead-of-the-night" habit.
lmao, well seriously, i dont think that is true. i find that i am kind of like a pregnant woman who blogs at any random time so long as there is a computer in reach and definitely, internet acccess.
i think my access had three c's but oh well, too lazy to edit.
so anyway, was chatting late online with timoemo and we had quite a few topics, but it started namely with deena. timo was saying that we should create a group on facebook and i forgot what was the purpose of it. im sure nobody would be interested anyway.
but anyway, like any regular conversation, we digressed and talked about deena raping me. hell, that came out weird.
normally i would shudder at the thought of this, i mean, who wouldn't?! but i think i am going to vomit first. lawl.
we were, horribly mean in the conversation, but i was nice enough to suggest that timothy may take deena high in bed, as said in her msn pm. and then we ended the topic on a high note where i wished him sweet dreams of an orgy with deena and his gf and a snakehead. why a snakehead, many of you would be like "what-the-hell-ing" all over my blog now, but seriously, you don't wanna know.
and so speaking of which, i ended up having a long tiring dream myself. i kind of dislike these type of long enduring and unclear dreams, mixed up dreams about all sorts of people and sometimes it just feels crazzy. but anyway, my dream did include timothy, NO deena, a shoebag and someone else.
i think timo should know who that is, and chris should know who that is from the shoebag clue. lmao. this is fun.
so the dream was weird and unclear. but clear dreams can be worst sometimes. i remember once when i was younger i woke up literally crying cause i dreamt of being attacked by a golden python and then there was a golden komodo dragon eating me. everything was so clear, right from the details of the place i was at, to the wrinkle lines on my mother's face, up to the pain felt when i was bitten by the snake. the last scene before i woke up was the komodo charging at me mouth opened. what a flamboyant dream.
i still do shudder at the thought of that very dream, but oh well.
by the way, do look out for a forty-five-picture-long post tomorrow. its about the safari zoo run 2009! :)
i wonder, if the song you sent me had any hidden meaning. when life gives you a lemon, you make lemonade out of it.
what about two lemons?
you can't be greedy and make two cups of lemonade. all the more you can't ignore the facts and leave the lemons aside. they might just run away even before they rot.
we are given decisions in different points of our lives, to make us think and to let us mature. each person has his or her own standards of maturity. sometimes it may come as a surprise when an old lady tells you that she has never been through certain things before.
we take life for granted so much, we expect several things and several outcomes. yet, we always forget the fact that we should never judge a book by its cover, that we should never look at a situation like how everyone sees it, but instead, to look at it in our own way and find a solution to it.
running away is never the solution. and that the cup is never half empty, it's always half full. yet right now, i am lost. i am too afraid to run away, i am too afraid to face it either.
what do the lemons want from us? i have absolutely no idea. i am still trying to find out, what do i want from them.
which is part of the reason why i couldnt head down to jordan's wake. but i do hope sincerely that he has found peace and is at somewhere wonderful.
well, my sister has sacked her confinement lady, apparently, and then she is over at our house to stay with the baby. hence, im not allowed to go anywhere that may affect the baby's well-being, not that im say, insulting jordan's wake or anything, but after all, funeral wakes and babies just do not seem compatible.
i would jsut like to dedicate this to you, just this once, regardless of what others might view of it.
jordan, i hope you can hear this, i never got round to talk to you when i visited you at the icu. and about that, i have to say, you have a great overwhelming shield of family and friends.
you are blessed.
i jsut want to tell you that, everytime you laughed at me eating and pigging away in lectures, i was never annoyed, in fact, they were well-valued moments. it goes to show that, somehow, you valued me too.
i especially liked the fact that we did a project together overnight, working hard, towards the breaking of dawn.
it was fun having being teasted by you too, about queenie, but still, the both of us aren't a thing anyway.
the last time i went for lecture, you asked me for tutukuehs, i never got round to treating you to one. i hope you get tutukuehs as good as the ones from school, where ever you are now.
jessie says: *eh you can be a baker *i will buy your food everyday *my kids will hate me for making them eat uncle alfred's cupcake everyday but too bad! ALFRED! says: *hhhahaha *i sell them at $10 each jessie says: *eh then dont want already ALFRED! says: *hahahahaha *sng! jessie says: *cheaper *10cents ALFRED! says: *im so making a loss loss kind of loss jessie says: *never mind lah! *am i your friend? ALFRED! says: *HAHAHAAHAH *OMG *STUPID *YOU ARE DEAD THIS IS GOING ON MY BLOG jessie says: *hahahaah thanks for the err honorable mention
Does your Pepsi lack pep? Is your Coke not the real thing? India's Hindu nationalist movement apparently has the answer: a new soft drink made from cow urine.
i really wish to not comment much to this particular article, but it did lead to some crap conversations between weisheng and i.
wei sheng says: *"Cow dung is traditionally used as a fuel and disinfectant in villages" ALFRED! says: *its gonna be a hit wei sheng says: *DISINFECTANT WITH SHIT *dont make any sense to me ALFRED! says: *wah imagine you get a cut and someone go grab a pile from outside and apply on your hand
and that's what it says in the article alright? which is gross.
and of course, we talked about other stuff too.
ALFRED! says: *when i die, i wan to die in a happening way *like on a roller coaster when i'm really old and i had a heart attack halfway up there or sth *or like i watch a horror flick and scare myself to death *but i think my most likely death is either a freak accident or i laugh to death wei sheng says: *"like on a roller coaster when i'm really old and i had a heart attack halway up there or sth or like i watch a horror flick and scare myself to death" *damn inconsiderate to die in a theme park or cinema can ALFRED! says: *HAHAHAHA
so then i said i wanted to die amongst the crowds in singapore.
wei sheng says: *oi *not places like bugis street can or not *pedestrain will cause traffic jams lah ALFRED! says: *hahah *its already jammed enough *or i die in the morning on the mrt *when very squeezy *the thing is *no one will know i die until everyone exits the train lah *cos i won't even get to lie down *train too cramped wei sheng says: *hahahaha *die standing is pretty sad *can't rest in peace
chatting online with friends is fairly interesting and keeps my mind off loads of stuff most of the time. stay tuned, more silly conversations to be added tomorrow.
there was a sudden call for all immediate relatives, and the atmosphere in the visitors' lounge went chilled.
nobody spoke, nobody, until his father came out of the ward.
smiling, and asking everyone not to worry, asking everyone not to be too affected, and moving on to announce that his son has been certified brain dead.
yet he paused right before the two words, as though wishing in the very last minute, for a miracle where the doctor might just run out saying that it's all been a mistake. but eventually, he broke down in tears and desperation before he could even say anything more.
i could not take it any longer and got out of the room. rich tears were already welling up in fatin's eyes, any longer in there, and i might lose it too.
i am not a close friend, really. almost like an acquaintance, just that we often chat online in the wee hours of the morning, him constantly finding it amusing of teasing me with the name of another girl.
but i felt so much when i finally got to see him today, because he was not just lying there. my friend is still very much alive and breathing right there.
the beeping of the heart monitor filling up the room's silence.
i see his father talking to him with much affection.
i see baoren and chris praying for and blessing him.
i see shili in a total ruin, unacceptable of the outcome.
i see strangers asking him to wake up.
i see myself lost of all words on what to say to him.
but now i know what i can say, i will visit jordan again. i came across a miracle posted online, the same thing might just, no , the same thing will happen to jordan. everyone is trying very hard, i am sure he is too. miracle in LAKE ELMO, Minnesota everyone keep praying, and not lose faith at all.
jeudi 12 février 2009 00:01
when i was really young, i went to sunday school. i never say, believed in the Lord cause i always had my own thinking and beliefs. the last time i prayed, was when i had to thank the Lord for my meals in kindergarten.
today, i am praying hard. in the past, many friends' deaths struck me like a sudden bullet in the chest. but today, i am given the chance to do something, anything, to prevent history from repeating itself, to hope for you to get better. even if it means praying.
everyone is waiting, waiting for you to wake up, to come back.
i would give anything, just for you to wake up. you may not be a close friend, but still, you are a friend.
all we can do now is wait. to wait for your brain pressure to come down. to wait for it to stabilize. and then you can have your operation. so everyone is waiting to donate their blood so that you can live on.
i would still look forward to having you laugh at me in every lecture for buying tons of food and eating like a pig.
i have B+ blood, and even if i have to donate more than one bag of blood, take it. take it so long you will live to see tomorrow.
i woke up this morning expecting bad news of myself failing yet another paper.
i got more than what i expected.
i don't wanna lose a lecture mate.
please be fine, soon.
there's nothing we can do but pray beyond the glass window, cause we are not in there, where the real tension presses on. everyone will be praying hard, and so you must hold on hard.
Stupid khalisah and one of her random videos that she found from another one of her very much random friends. but anyway, this is really kind of funny.
i am supposed to blog about what happened on friday whilst hanging out with cass and sharon and abi, but i shall do that tomorrow. or something like that. lmao.
Merisse Poh was born 6th February 2009, 1608 hours at Mount Elizabeth Hospital. She is a chubby and lovable sweet tart at sight.
i have yet to really see her personally, but shall be heading down to sis' on monday to cuddle with my cute little meri. and i have no idea why she is called merisse when the name itself is mostly a surname for italian men, but its special, and will do fine.
i got a very important wake-up call from best friend early yesterday.
i should quit complaining and whining. because i have overlooked the fact that i, fortunately, have a great bunch of friends surrounding me, namely khalisah, sharon, abigail and cassandra lee.
and no, this is no confession time. but i would like to add a much emphasized tone to what i am going to say, thank you for being there and telling me what i have missed while i went on hiatus from school, thank you for reminding me and helping me keep notice of the incoming practical/common tests/disasters, thank you and ever thank you for picking me up by making me laugh at nonsensical incidents hence relaxing my overly tensed and erratic mind. thank you guys for doing this little stuff and not instead just keep quiet and leave me isolated by the corner and think that i am jsut going to wind up as another kendrick. because, frankly, (if so he ever reads this), i try harder than him though i slack as much as him (is that even legal?).
i am really tired, but i realised that all that stressed and tension in my muscles seem to disappear when one of you just simply, do something dumb. and i hereby stand witness for the fact that abigail wong is really a big maybe at times whiny, and annoying, but jsut seriously, and matter-of-factly, a BIG STRESS RELIEVER that i find to be real effective too.
so anyway, i have to really buck up by next week and really really put in some real effort and not while my life away in fears and whatnots. plus, KHALISAH TAN IS IN THIS WITH ME TOO, YOU READ THAT? we both are going through tough periods, and we both are having certain difficulties at the wrong time at the wrong place, but we have each other and our friends too. (:
coming soon would be a post on chinese new year! plus the much loved ang baos~
oh and by the way, the newest member of our family is on his/her way! i kind of hope its a girl, but my mum hopes its a boy. but in case you guys dont know, my sister is currently in labour and seriously, i dont give a damn as to whether it will be a nephew or a niece, cause all i want is for mother and child to be alright.
i hope my sister get through this and can in turn grow stronger, and i am really excited that she is going to become a mother. not sure why though, but i guess she has always been rather important to me, which could jsut be why i still have the deeply embedded memory of the day when she ran away from home nearly fifteen years ago.
but i jsut want you to know, although you are in pain and away at the hospital now, fret not, i am praying here for you.
