mercredi 19 novembre 2008 22:06
in case i get a riot on my tagboard, i reckon it's about time that i blogged. it is not like i went on hiatus on purpose though, but it was because the new semester has been hard to cope with work around and all. and trust me, i have been meaning to blog for a real long time.
and so finally this week, i took time off work, and abandoned that long list of work awaiting for me to accomplish. i have probably never been slacker in my entire poly life, and eat this, i am going to genting this weekend. i am going to leave behind everything just for this week, just to get a little rest. and probably face that stack of post-its on my wall when i come back. because i cant be pretty much bothered anymore.
and i hate this but, i jsut would like to make it clear to someone, about "the shit that i am involved in".
i have to work, to pay for my laptop loan with ngee ann, to pay for my fraud bills from starhub, to pay for the debts that i owe people.
at work, in order to achieve a better pay, in order to not get eaten by competition, i have to give my all, i have to work extra hard, just so that i can get my pay raise faster, jsut so that life can be much more easier.
at home, my mother falls ill with a ridiculous illness, and our family falls into a financial crisis, and i work even more than i can already afford jsut so that i can afford to make her medical bills less baleful. and soon, i may have to start paying for my own school fees.
in school, i am constantly struggling to maintain my gpa, and with each semester, it gets all the more impossible for me to do it like usual; with a horrendous project partner, with me counting only on myself trying to complete nearly everything within the deadline; with an idiotic lecturer giving a quiz every week, a quiz that i am always either unable to attend, or to even do properly, because i do not have the time to study for it, or even to simply attend it, with me waking up late.
i work four days a week, i forsake my entire weekend, and i am still called lazy. i wonder why.
i have never asked for all this. but this is life and i have to accept it. throughout all this, the slightest bit when i complain about it, people say that i am whining like a kid, and now you are telling me its shit.
all we did was to be concerned. thank you for taking it all for granted. thank you for your pretty blunt comment.
i am tired, really tired, fucking tired. but at least i dont compare. and honestly i would give up anything to have people being as concerned about me as they are about you.
i have no mood to blog already. seriously.
